Musings

Grief – struck!

Victoria Lindbergh Rizzi | Awestruck Catholic Social Network: My God, why! That’s what I want to scream. I want to break OUT, running and crying, letting the tears loose. But I am speechless. Petrified. My lips tremble with the sobs that won’t come out. Why? Why do I have to know someone and then he goes. He dies. Cut off in the noon of his life. His name is Mauricio, the brother of a very dear friend. He was an architect. Was. I recoil as I write it. Was! Everything ended. He was going to get married. He came visiting last summer with his fiancée. He was making progress in leaps and bounds in his career. He was a healthy young man, lively, jovial. I was looking forward to the wedding; then to the announcements of each of their children as they arrive. Mamma mia!

The flurry has left my fingers. The words trickle now, one at a time. But the dumbness has also left my soul. I am not running. I stare at my screen, calm! I am trying to understand it knowing that I will never understand. But I have my Christian faith to hold on to. It consoles me to remember that Mauricio is a Christian. He lived his short time on earth very happy to make God happy. I have prayed a responsorial for his soul. I’m praying for his family and friends who have to deal with the shock and the loss and the gap, the big big gap. I’ll continue praying for Mauricio; in this wonderful communion of saints which we live in the Catholic Church, we are never alone, living or dead.  And I know that he’s happy, he’s in heaven. Because happiness after death is for those who know, who knew, how to be truly happy on earth.

I have to go. My friend needs me at her side more than never before.

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