JAVA’S NEWS VERSION

Emeka Okoro Jnr

All this commotion about Miss Universe. Miss Galaxy nko? The furor didn’t start today, nor will it end tomorrow. Zaire won’t stop being Zaire nor will her twin sister change her name to Pia.

Haba, why are you wearing that face? Ah, you haven’t met Zaire. She is my friend o jare from the very Philippines itself. While she was still yawning and stretching, and all the other things that the dear dear unborn babies do, in her mother’s womb, they decided to name the children. Shildren! Forgive me jo. I didn’t add that she was not alone like Jonah in the belly of the fish. Zaire was also fighting with her twin in the belly of her mama. Have I lost you? Not yet.

Okay, Zaire and Ziria. So there was ‘Miss Universe’ going on also during that time. Zaire is my friend not my grandmother, eh. So yes, there was Miss Universe going on before she was born. I don’t know if the presenters made errors as they did in 2015 or if the second runner up had to give up her beautiful crown. But let’s stick to what I know.

Miss Zaire was very promising in this edition before the birth of my friend Zaire. So promising that Zaire’s aunt decided to have a long lasting keepsake of her. A proposal to the young mother. A ‘Yes, I like the idea, the name’ and gbam! – the deed is done o. What about the twin sister? Very easy na. The name dictionaries are still in print. They come up with another Z-name. Ziria.

So deafor, I have a friend called Zaire and one day, I hope to meet Ziria.

And speaking of mothers and babies, one mama named Mary, wife of Joseph of the tribe of David, is going to put to bed soon. And they have a name for the expected baby boy. Jesus! You weren’t expecting ‘Pia’ or ‘Ariadna’, were you? Jesus! You won’t believe how the name came about. From the Divine Courts itself. They are going to name him Jesus as they do in my country. They give the pikins dem names with a mission.

Jesus! Which means ‘saviour’. He is born, we will celebrate his birth, for our salvation. Yes. You heard me right. My salvation and yours also. Guess what, I already have his friendship booked. You who are indeed wiser and better than me, won’t you do the same?

Happy Christmas!!!